What’s up Donald Duck?

Excuse the brief hiatus. I blame the holidays! I’m surprised I haven’t put on too much weight with the volume of lunches and dinners outside. But it has been great catching up with friends and family.

So what has happened in the past week? Plenty.

Michael Jackson passed away.

Farrah Fawcett passed away.

Nick from my Dale Carnegie course passed away.

Notice a common trend? Yup, it’s been a pretty morbid week.

Apart from the tragedies above.. I’ve just finished reading Outliers by Malcom Gladwell.

Outliers

What a fascinating book. His writing style is extremely accessible and I’ve often found myself going, ‘Hey.. why didn’t I think of that?’. I’m not going to reveal too much because I want you to get out there and read it. But he basically outlines why certain people are successful at what they do. Unfortunately, I haven’t read too much in the field of personal success, so I can’t critique whether he has repeated his ideas from other authors.

Anyway, I’m off to read Gladwell’s earlier book (The Tipping Point) now. Till next time. Au Revoir!

Slang – Part II

Yikes. I didn’t realise how much slang I used. Anyway, here’s part II!

  • Homie = Shortened version of home-boy. Close friend / someone who came from the same neighbourhood, street, school, ghetto, etc.

‘Woah! Did you see Andrew on YouTube?’

‘Yeah! That’s my homie from way back!’

  • Shout out = to acknowledge with respect.

‘I would like to throw a shout out to my loyal blog readers here’

  • Played = tricked

‘Shit! I can’t believe I paid $200 for this phone on eBay last week. Someone else is selling it for $150! ‘

‘You got played fool’

  • Hook up = Do a favour or.. engage in sexual activity.

‘Yo, how much for that iPod?’

‘I can hook you up. Let me talk to a few homies’

‘Did you see Nick and Jane hook up last night?’

  • Money in the bank = Reliability. You know it’s going to happen.

‘Ugh! Where is Josephine?’

‘Keep it cool. She’s money in the bank. She’ll be here’

  • Hater = Someone who knocks down a successful person

‘He must have cheated to get such a good grade’

‘That’s not cool. Why you gotta be a hater?’

  • Oh snap = A playful exclamation that is made when you are surprised, insulted or disappointed. It’s a very versatile word and can be used in many situations.

‘Did you hear that Bob got genital herpes?’

‘Oh snap! Is he OK?’

  • Beef = problem or grudge

‘Screw that punk’.

‘Yo’, what’s your beef with him?’

  • Ho = tramp, hooker, whore, prostitute, etc.

‘Do you like this outfit?’

‘Hell no. You look like a ho’

  • Son = Close friend, homie. It can also be used to look down on someone.

‘What up son!’

or

‘Son, you better get yo’ ass running or you gonna get a beating’.

  • Shorty = Attractive girl

‘Yo’ Shorty, how you doin’?’

  • Brother from another mother = A friend who you are really close to but have no relation

‘How you doin’, my brother from another mother?’

Asian poses

I posted this on my Facebook page a week ago. But the sheer awesomeness of it has forced me to do a repost. Click below and check it out!

Asian Poses

Gay lingo

I learnt this from my colleague Bradley in Vancouver.

What do you call an Asian guy who likes white guys? A potato queen.

What do you call a white guy who likes Asian guys? A rice queen.

So, what do you call Asian guys who like other Asian guys too? Sticky rice!

I take no responsibility for any mental images conjured upon reading this.

StickyRice

So the white guys who hit on me in Vancouver and Singapore? They’re rice queens.

Who ya gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Check out this creepy toy. I can now see why General Motors (GM) went out of business.

creepy toy

A part me of is quite disturbed. The other part is curious to see whether this child grows up to be ‘normal’.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned

Nor Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This guy is going to shit his pants when he gets back from his business trip.

Cheating husband sign

P.S. What’s the moral of the story? Don’t cheat.

P.P.S. I presume Linnie is short for Linden. Poor guy. His parents gave him no chance with a nickname like that.

Slang – Part I

I use a lot of African American slang. I can’t help it! I grew up with a heavy dose of black comedy. In particular:

Fresh Prince

&

chappelles_show

So here’s a mini dictionary of the more common phrases or terms I use.

Note: Not all of it is African American and you can find a lot more examples on how to use them at Urban Dictionary.

  • Phat = Cool

“That’s a phat car”

  • Tight = Close friends or cool

“Tim and Matt are real tight”

“Did you see that flip? That was tight!”

  • Booty = Ass

“That’s a fine piece of booty right there”.

  • Real talk = The truth.

“Ugh. I’m not sure if I can trust her anymore”.

“Anymore? I’m gonna give you real talk right here. She’s cheated on yo’ ass three times now. Enough is enough. Dump her”.

  • You dig? = Do you understand?

“I want you to circle around the block till I give you the signal. You dig?”

  • Word = Agreed. It can also be used as a greeting similar to ‘What’s up?’

This is for the ladies.

“Wow, check him out. He’s hot!”

“Word. Preach on sister”.

  • Sup = A greeting / what’s up

“Sup?”

“Nothin’ much. You?”

  • Cuss = Swear at or curse

“Don’t you dare cuss at me fool’

  • Pocahontas syndrome = Girls who have a sexual preference for people not of their own race. (Pocahontas is a Native American woman who marries an Englishman).

“Check that out. *points to an interracial couple*”

“Some girls just have the Pocahontas syndrome”.

Let’s get this clear. I’m not saying I dislike interracial relationships. I don’t care. It’s just a term. You dig?

  • Yellow Fever = Guys or girls who have a sexual preference for Asians.

“I can’t stop checking out Asian girls”.

“Don’t worry man. Most white guys get it. You’re just afflicted with Yellow Fever”.

  • Jungle Fever = Guys or girls who have a sexual preference for black people.

“Damn. Check out her booty’!”

“I gotta give it to you. Only brothers with jungle fever can appreciate real booty”

  • ‘Once you go Asian, you don’t go Caucasian’ = You can’t resist the Asian persuasion.

Pretty self explanatory on how to use this. Extra points if you use this on white guys. You’re guaranteed a reaction.

  • ‘Grow some balls’ = Harden up / be a man

‘Aw shit! This Tom Yum soup is spicy’

‘It’s not that bad. Grow some bulls dude’.

Shout out to Carmen for the real life example above. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  • Diss = Shortened version of disrespect.

“Your woman looks like an alligator”

“Don’t you diss my girl man or I’ll beat yo’ ass”

  • Keep it real = Be yourself

“Ugh. I’m so nervous about this presentation”.

“You’ll be fine. Just keep it real”.