Category Archives: jokes

Gay lingo

I learnt this from my colleague Bradley in Vancouver.

What do you call an Asian guy who likes white guys? A potato queen.

What do you call a white guy who likes Asian guys? A rice queen.

So, what do you call Asian guys who like other Asian guys too? Sticky rice!

I take no responsibility for any mental images conjured upon reading this.

StickyRice

So the white guys who hit on me in Vancouver and Singapore? They’re rice queens.

Slang – Part I

I use a lot of African American slang. I can’t help it! I grew up with a heavy dose of black comedy. In particular:

Fresh Prince

&

chappelles_show

So here’s a mini dictionary of the more common phrases or terms I use.

Note: Not all of it is African American and you can find a lot more examples on how to use them at Urban Dictionary.

  • Phat = Cool

“That’s a phat car”

  • Tight = Close friends or cool

“Tim and Matt are real tight”

“Did you see that flip? That was tight!”

  • Booty = Ass

“That’s a fine piece of booty right there”.

  • Real talk = The truth.

“Ugh. I’m not sure if I can trust her anymore”.

“Anymore? I’m gonna give you real talk right here. She’s cheated on yo’ ass three times now. Enough is enough. Dump her”.

  • You dig? = Do you understand?

“I want you to circle around the block till I give you the signal. You dig?”

  • Word = Agreed. It can also be used as a greeting similar to ‘What’s up?’

This is for the ladies.

“Wow, check him out. He’s hot!”

“Word. Preach on sister”.

  • Sup = A greeting / what’s up

“Sup?”

“Nothin’ much. You?”

  • Cuss = Swear at or curse

“Don’t you dare cuss at me fool’

  • Pocahontas syndrome = Girls who have a sexual preference for people not of their own race. (Pocahontas is a Native American woman who marries an Englishman).

“Check that out. *points to an interracial couple*”

“Some girls just have the Pocahontas syndrome”.

Let’s get this clear. I’m not saying I dislike interracial relationships. I don’t care. It’s just a term. You dig?

  • Yellow Fever = Guys or girls who have a sexual preference for Asians.

“I can’t stop checking out Asian girls”.

“Don’t worry man. Most white guys get it. You’re just afflicted with Yellow Fever”.

  • Jungle Fever = Guys or girls who have a sexual preference for black people.

“Damn. Check out her booty’!”

“I gotta give it to you. Only brothers with jungle fever can appreciate real booty”

  • ‘Once you go Asian, you don’t go Caucasian’ = You can’t resist the Asian persuasion.

Pretty self explanatory on how to use this. Extra points if you use this on white guys. You’re guaranteed a reaction.

  • ‘Grow some balls’ = Harden up / be a man

‘Aw shit! This Tom Yum soup is spicy’

‘It’s not that bad. Grow some bulls dude’.

Shout out to Carmen for the real life example above. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  • Diss = Shortened version of disrespect.

“Your woman looks like an alligator”

“Don’t you diss my girl man or I’ll beat yo’ ass”

  • Keep it real = Be yourself

“Ugh. I’m so nervous about this presentation”.

“You’ll be fine. Just keep it real”.

Tweet Tweet

There are two reasons why I use Twitter.

  1. To keep in touch with my colleagues in Canada.
  2. To get up to date news from my favourite NBA players and journalists.

Here are some of the more notable tweets after the Lakers’ secured Game 5.

Ron Artest tweets

Shaq tweets

I love the Godfather reference here from Bill Simmons.

Bill Simmons tweets

Rudy Gay tweets